whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
