Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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