i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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