I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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