U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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