Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize