I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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