did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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