I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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