Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
