can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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