So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
