we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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