so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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