Ambien. No doubt about it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How does one acquire holy water?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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