i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize