wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
