I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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