I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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