Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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