I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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