take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
