He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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