Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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