I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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