if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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