Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
