youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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