we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
