ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize