I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize