Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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