What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize