just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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