I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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