anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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