I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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