the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize