But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize