Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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