If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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