Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
