are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
