I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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