It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
