im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
