Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just tell him i said nine months
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
