I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
