just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
