Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
