My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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