You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
