Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Drunk is not a location!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
