actually, I'm a sock model
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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