Where did you get a picture of my penis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize