he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
