was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
