left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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